My Chaotic Kitchen

The last month has been busy.  Busy.  I feel like that word hovers over my head, even when I’m sleeping.  The kids started school, I started working again, though technically part-time, I still can’t seem to find a spare moment.  Soccer season started and I have completely left my blog (among other things) on the back-burner.  Weekdays are harried, with school,  homework, doctor appointments, soccer practices, dentist appointments, and play dates.  Weekends are equally crazy.   As Coach and Team Parent, my husband and I pack the car and load the kids for Saturday morning’s game.  The kids usually have a birthday party or some other event each weekend.    I am not whining about it.  I am just embarrassed and frustrated by the fact that I have about 4 or 5 half-written posts on my dashboard, and another dozen or so ideas floating around in my brain, just waiting for me to get my act together.  I am wondering if there are any other aspiring writer-mommies out there who feel the same way.  I love to write.  In my dreams, I am able to write every day, and earn a living at it.  That would be the icing on the cake!  In my dream, I have my own little writing room.  It’s private and quiet, away from the noise of Sponge Bob on the TV and the girls playing with their dolls; for some reason, a very loud and dramatic event.   My little dream room is bright and sunny and comfortable.  Right now, I sit in our centrally located little office, right off of the family room and downstairs bathroom.  The TV, which currently boasts no audience,  is blaring some commercial for a toy I am sure I will never buy, the dog is snoring at my feet and my kids sound like laughing, squealing elephants running across the floor upstairs over my head.

When I was a kid, I loved to visit my aunt.  She lived in a house near the beach and she was/is a writer.  Her office, the extra bedroom, was spacious yet cozy.  There was a lot of stuff in that room, but it didn’t feel cluttered.  An entire wall of bookshelves was just crammed full of books.  I used to think she must own every book that was ever written.  There were two windows which were opened in the morning to let in the ocean breezes.  The sofa under the bookshelves converted to my bed at night when I was visiting.  I loved it there.  I loved sitting at the kitchen counter in the mornings with my cereal bowl, watching my aunt take her coffee cup and head off to work, right down the hallway.  I knew I shouldn’t disturb her while she worked.  A few times she let me “edit” for her, probably to be nice and to give me something to do.  It was so nice to sit on the sofa in that sunny little room with the breeze, and the books, and my aunt at her desk, whom I still herald as a magnificent writer and overall remarkable person.   How nice it would be to be in that room again.  Just for today.  To finish the posts I’ve started, and maybe begin a few that are floating around in my head.  Perhaps I would start to write a book.  That would be amazing!  What would I write about?  I have no idea, but I am sure I would come up with something if I spent a day in that room alone with the ocean breeze.

Now, I need to turn off the television and go upstairs to tell the elephants to stop running in the house.  We have laundry to do today, and errands to run.  Tomorrow, it is back to work and school.  My husband is out of town for the day, so I want to spend some quality time with the kids, maybe take a walk.   I will try to find time this evening to finish one of my posts.

I think someday I will have that little writing room of my dreams, and my half-written ideas will be typed and printed for all to read.  Everything starts with a dream, right?

We had a busy morning.  I started the coffee, made breakfast for three, packed lunches for three, brushed hair, brushed teeth, dressed, put shoes on, backpacks on, family photo-shoot, and off to school.

The girls were a little nervous, but mostly excited about starting kindergarten.  My son watched the clock from the moment he awoke, and despite my reassurance that “we don’t need to leave yet,” he kept urging us out the door with,  “We gotta go, Mom.  Can we please go now?!”  When we got to school, we walked my daughters to their classroom and my son told us he would see us later and that he was going to “go do my thing”.   A quick hug and he was off, confidently heading into the 3rd Grade.

Warning: I’ve been reflective this morning.   You see, my twin daughters were born early, at 29 weeks.  Looking back on that time, I almost can’t understand how we made it through.  I won’t tell you the whole story.  The full-length version is too long for this blog post, and it isn’t the reason I write.  I only mention it because it was a difficult time and there was a point at which we weren’t sure if we’d ever have the opportunity to take our girls to kindergarten.  Hard to believe, as I took them to school today, snapping pictures of them outside their classroom.  They were smiling, nervous, holding hands.   They made it!  And it is just the beginning.  They will have a great time, learn so much, meet new friends.

I thought I might be more emotional today, when I saw my babies off to school.  But, I wasn’t.  I was happy.  Happy that they are growing up.  It is a wonderful thing.   I won’t lie, I even had a few high-five moments with some other moms I know who were sending their youngest ones out the door, too.   There is a sense of accomplishment, like “I made it! Yes!”  Another chapter of motherhood ends, as one begins.  Of course, when the bell rang, and my husband and I walked back to our car after saying our final goodbyes and blowing kisses, I did get a little choked up.  And I laughed at myself when tears fell down my cheeks, because I’m really not sad at all.  I just know that this is exactly what is supposed to happen, and the kids, my husband and I, are all exactly where we are meant to be, right now.  It’s a good day.

Now, I sit at my computer and type this story, uninterrupted and in complete silence.   I feel good.   I see the kids’ breakfast dishes sitting on the counter and I do miss the little rascals.  I hope they are having a good day, too.  I think I will pour another cup of coffee and make some phone calls.  Strange, but for the first time in a long time, my kitchen is not chaotic at all.

-Michelle

My brother and his girlfriend are coming into town this weekend, and will stay at my mom’s for a few days before heading East.  They are relocating to Virginia.  We are so excited to see them and spend some time before they make the big move Eastward.  We plan to have a BBQ on Saturday when they get in.  The thing is, my brother is a vegetarian and his girlfriend doesn’t eat carbs.  Obviously, hamburgers, steak or hot dogs are off the list.  And my usual fallback, pasta, is out as well.   I have been searching the web for recipes and I think I may try grilled eggplant or portobello mushroom “burgers”.  I will be off to the grocery store this afternoon and I hope to find some inspiration among the produce.  I did see a delicious-looking recipe for the mushroom burgers on the food network, but it involved cheese.  I could exclude cheese from my son’s burger, but will the mushroom alone have enough flavor to keep him interested?  Hmmm.  Fortunately, I have a few more days to figure this out.  We need a vegan, carbless, kid-pleasing meal.  Any suggestions??

-Michelle

Quin, Age 2

When my son was little, I had to be so careful about food.  Having severe allergies myself, I wanted to protect him from the potentially life-threatening result of an exposure to dairy.  It made me so nervous when he started preschool.  After all, dairy was EVERYWHERE!  I even contemplated (very briefly) not sending him to Pre-K at all.  I could just imagine a snack-time mishap… milk coming out of some kid’s nose (you remember that happening when you were a kid!) and spraying my son in the face, his eyes swelling shut and his breathing becoming shallow and nobody doing anything to help him.  Oh my God!  The thought was almost more than I could bear.  Or, some craft project involving a type of paint that contains a dairy protein.  I don’t know of any but, it could happen!  Nobody else, even his wonderful, sweet preschool teacher would know that you must read the ingredients on EVERYTHING…. EVERYTHING!  Even my family couldn’t be trusted.  I just KNEW my mother or my in-laws MIGHT accidentally feed him something that would send him into anaphylactic shock, and if I wasn’t around to deal with it, nobody else would know how!  Oh NO!  How emotionally exhausting it is to think about, even now.

Well, somehow my son has survived to the age of 8.  His allergy was no doubt the focus of  my extreme anxiety, stress and over-protectiveness.   Before he could read, I made sure he knew to tell people that he was allergic to dairy and to ask them to read the ingredients for him.  He was so good about it.  Very grown-up about it.

Well guess what, there was a day when my worry became a reality.  Funny how that happens, isn’t it?  He was in kindergarten and it was lunchtime.  Everyone in class knew of Quin’s allergy to dairy, and most kids found it fascinating that milk could make him so sick.  So, some little boy tried to put cheese on my son’s arm, thinking it would be funny to see what would happen.  Quin dodged the cheese, and only a small amount smeared onto his shirt.  Cheese.  Delicious sandwich accessory, or deadly weapon?  ( I feel like I need a sound byte here; dun dun dunnnn)  Some other kids told a teacher about the incident and she separated the other little boy from my son.  When I picked him up from school that day, Quin told me about what happened.  He said he was alright and that he and that boy became friends afterward.  His kindergarten teacher spoke to the class about the seriousness of allergies, and that was that.

Looking back, it is hard for me to admit that I was a bit too overprotective at times.  On the other hand, we are talking about a very serious allergy.  I just wish I hadn’t worried SO much.  Truth, motherhood and worry seem to go hand-in-hand, allergies or not.  Moms with severely allergic kids HAVE to be a protective advocate for their child when they are young.  Then, we have to teach our child how to protect himself.  He/she should be educated on their allergy and understand how to deal with it.   If I have any advice for other parents, and I do hate to give unwarranted advice… just kidding, I do it all the time.   Don’t freak out too much.  Just make sure to educate yourself, your child, your family, and your child’s school.

One of the biggest challenges with the dairy allergy, is convincing people that it is completely different from lactose intolerance.  Trying to get the point across that my son’s reaction to milk is far more severe than a tummy-ache, can be difficult.  Some people just don’t get it.  But that’s OK.  Quin now knows how to read packaging and is comfortable talking to adults and other kids about his allergy.  He knows what ingredients to look for and what to do if he does ingest or even touches dairy products.  So, I don’t worry too much anymore.   At least, not about his allergy.

-Michelle

Up until a month ago, I was working full-time as an office manager/ bookkeeper for a small company located just a mile and a half from home.  I loved the people I worked with and hoped the “little company that could”, would.  Well, it didn’t, and when it became evident that we wouldn’t be able to make payroll, I had to go.  I believe that everything happens for a reason and the timing couldn’t have been more appropriate.  The school year was coming to an end, and I realized that having some time to spend with the kids this summer might be a better deal than working all day and watching my paycheck go to daycare.

I have to say, the first month has been difficult.   It may sound crazy, but I liked working and having deadlines and meetings, and being in charge of the operational flow of an office environment.  I liked the accounting and solving logistical challenges with our clients.  It turns out, I was pretty good at it, too.  Now, I am home with my kids each day, and I have to say, this job is far more challenging than the one I was paid to do.  There is more repetition here at home, which can become boring, and for me, that is challenging.  For instance, the major tasks for me today were to clean the master bathroom and pick up my son from his summer science class on time.  The kids are the loose cannons that keep it interesting.  Lately, each day seems to offer up new ways for them to antagonize each other, bicker over toys and complain about being bored.  I feel it is generally much easier to go into any office of any given industry and spend your day solving problems and coordinating schedules, negotiating with difficult people and completing tasks before deadlines.  This is due to the fact that, at the end of the day, you will leave those difficult people and the ever-increasing to-do lists, turn off the computer in your office, turn off the lights, lock the door and go home.  With my children, there will never be a time when I turn it all off and go.

I keep thinking, when I worked, I was able to manage so much MORE, and with so much more tolerance and patience.  But then I realize, that is because it was only a JOB.  When it boils down to it, I wasn’t saving lives (if you’re a surgeon, or an E.R. nurse or doctor, this thought process may not work for you.)  I was only there to process the sale, and make sure everything and everyone fell into their proper places.  There is so much more at stake when it comes to raising kids!  It takes MORE energy and effort.   In fact, I can honestly say that in my career as a mother, I have literally saved lives.  Pulled toys out of a choking baby’s mouth, rushed to the E.R. when my son had asthma attacks, and a few times… with the help of Poison Control…  “Hello.  Yes, what should I do if my two-year-old stuck Alleve in her nostrils?   Yes, both nostrils……Uh huh.. One Alleve per nostril….  Yes, she’s breathing just fine, but when I tried to pull the Alleve out, I think I actually shoved them further in there….Well, her nose is running now and it’s blue… you know, Alleve Blue.”

I was a stay-at-home mom after my son was born and, aside from a few part-time weekend jobs here and there, I continued to stay home after the twins were born.  I started working full time about a year and a half ago, when the twins were 3 years old.  Being a mom is tough, whether you work outside the home or not.  Doing it well is even tougher.  Doing it well doesn’t mean your house is always clean, your kids always well-behaved and never settling for a fast food or frozen dinner.  Motherhood gets pretty messy, in every sense of the word.  I am grateful for the fact that I was able to stay home during the first several years after my children were born, and I am grateful I am here with them now.  After all, my daughters will begin Kindergarten in the Fall, and I will officially be the mother of school-aged children.  Life will change again.  I will find another job, the kids will make friends, learn new things, join a team, play an instrument.  They will start to grow up and require my presence less and less, as they should.  Perhaps I will also join a team, or play an instrument.   Each new chapter in life offers opportunities for change and personal improvement.  I know that the right job is out there for me; one that allows me to use my talents and grow as a person, but doesn’t keep me from being the type of mother I strive to be.   Hopefully one that offers health benefits, too!  For now, the plan is to spend some quality time with my kids, maybe paint the upstairs bathroom (Alleve blue?) and enjoy being in the ‘now’.   After all, right ’now’ is all that really matters.

-Michelle

Summer 2011

For the past year, I have had some very bad cystic acne, particularly around my jaw line.  I am 32 years old, and I feel like I should be well-past this stage.  I have used lots of over-the-counter products and had varying results.  A few months ago, in desperation, I got a prescription for tetracycline.  Even though I usually don’t like to take antibiotics unless absolutely necessary, I was so eager to use it and finally be rid of these cysts!  It worked for a while.   Then, I went off of the antibiotic and the acne came right back.  Just in time for a job interview, I might add!

Up until that point, I believed it was not possible to have clear skin without spending money on a skin cleansing program, or without using certain products specifically created for acne.  But I had finally reached a point where I figured there must be a more natural approach to clearing my complexion.  So, I did a little research.  Here is what I discovered; those cysts are caused by an overgrowth of Candida, a naturally occurring yeast in our intestines.   I also consulted my wonderful friend, Anna, an aesthetician.  She does my eyebrows, and does a fabulous job, by the way!  It turns out, I could have clearer skin by simply using some basic ingredients from my own kitchen.  Here is what she suggested:   Take 1 tsp. of apple cider vinegar by mouth once per day.  Be sure to chase it with a glass of water.   No, it doesn’t taste good, but it works.  The apple cider vinegar neutralizes the acids in your stomach.  Also, it is highly beneficial to apply the vinegar to existing cysts and blemishes.  Just dip a cotton swab and apply to the trouble spots.  I do this when I feel one coming on.  It works great!

Upon further investigation I discovered that Candida feeds off of sugars in your system.  Cut back on your sugar intake, and all things made with white flour.  It is also recommended that you cut back on dairy products.

I have to tell you, I went to get my eyebrows done the other day, and Anna noticed my skin was clearer, but that it was quite dry.  She said the apple cider vinegar can be drying.  Her suggestion; use olive oil as a moisturizer.  Just a small amount goes a long way.  I put a little on a cotton ball and applied all around my face, with a focus on my under eye area and my lips.  Apparently honey is also great for dry lips.  Anna says I should exfoliate by mixing brown sugar and sea salt with olive oil, and apply as a scrub a couple times a week.  She also recommended a homemade moisturizing mask using plain yogurt mixed with papaya or avocado.

If you experience problem skin, I hope you’ll give these remedies a try before spending time and money on other acne products.  What have you got to lose?!  Everything you need is right in your kitchen!

-Michelle

When our family dog, Sadie, passed away last year, my kids had lots of interest and confusion about the ins and outs of death.  My son, who was six years old at the time, understood the situation pretty well.  However, my 3-year-old twin daughters didn’t quite grasp the concept.

I blame myself for their confusion, as I find it difficult to explain such topics shortly and sweetly.   I explained to them that Sadie grew to be very old.  She had lived a very long, full and exciting life and there was nothing more the animal doctor could do for her.  So, Sadie passed away.

“Why did she die?”  Good question.  I told them her body became very old and simply didn’t work the way it should anymore.  My daughter, Shelby, said, “We should get new batteries for her.”  (When you are three and things stop working, it’s almost always due to bad batteries.)  My son, visibly irritated, jumped into the conversation at this point, as if to save me from further confusing my daughters.  He told them, “you can’t put batteries in animals and people.”  He told them that Sadie was just like Great Grandma Corky and Great Grammie… “They just got really old and they died.”

The next question was inevitable, “Where did Great Grandma go?”

I decided to attempt the short and sweet at this point.   So, I told them, “She is in heaven.”  There.  That outta do it.

But, Taylor’s immediate response was, “Is she an angel?”

“Well, not exactly”, I said.  “But I know she is still with us and watches over us.”

Both of my daughters, wide-eyed,  looked all around the room.   ”Where is she?”

I said, confidently, “When people die, we can’t see them with our eyes anymore, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t with us.  They stay in our hearts forever.”  Good answer, Michelle!  I gave myself an invisible pat on the back for that one.

Taylor scowled and Shelby looked down her shirt, apparently searching for Grandma.  I began to develop a headache at this point.   My son, again quite irritated, said curtly, “Shelby, she isn’t really INSIDE you!  She is in heaven.  You can’t see her.  Heaven is far away.  It’s way, way, way, way, WAY, WAY up there!”  He pointed upward dramatically.

It was at this time that my husband walked in and asked what was going on.  “Oh sure”, I thought.  “NOW he shows up.”  I told him we were discussing what happens when people die.  Taylor said confidently, “Yes, Daddy.  You can’t put batteries in people, so Grandma Corky died and she is WAY, WAY up in the ceiling.”

Shelby nodded her head and added, “With Sadie.”

I am so glad I cleared things up for them.

-Michelle