My Chaotic Kitchen

The last month has been busy.  Busy.  I feel like that word hovers over my head, even when I’m sleeping.  The kids started school, I started working again, though technically part-time, I still can’t seem to find a spare moment.  Soccer season started and I have completely left my blog (among other things) on the back-burner.  Weekdays are harried, with school,  homework, doctor appointments, soccer practices, dentist appointments, and play dates.  Weekends are equally crazy.   As Coach and Team Parent, my husband and I pack the car and load the kids for Saturday morning’s game.  The kids usually have a birthday party or some other event each weekend.    I am not whining about it.  I am just embarrassed and frustrated by the fact that I have about 4 or 5 half-written posts on my dashboard, and another dozen or so ideas floating around in my brain, just waiting for me to get my act together.  I am wondering if there are any other aspiring writer-mommies out there who feel the same way.  I love to write.  In my dreams, I am able to write every day, and earn a living at it.  That would be the icing on the cake!  In my dream, I have my own little writing room.  It’s private and quiet, away from the noise of Sponge Bob on the TV and the girls playing with their dolls; for some reason, a very loud and dramatic event.   My little dream room is bright and sunny and comfortable.  Right now, I sit in our centrally located little office, right off of the family room and downstairs bathroom.  The TV, which currently boasts no audience,  is blaring some commercial for a toy I am sure I will never buy, the dog is snoring at my feet and my kids sound like laughing, squealing elephants running across the floor upstairs over my head.

When I was a kid, I loved to visit my aunt.  She lived in a house near the beach and she was/is a writer.  Her office, the extra bedroom, was spacious yet cozy.  There was a lot of stuff in that room, but it didn’t feel cluttered.  An entire wall of bookshelves was just crammed full of books.  I used to think she must own every book that was ever written.  There were two windows which were opened in the morning to let in the ocean breezes.  The sofa under the bookshelves converted to my bed at night when I was visiting.  I loved it there.  I loved sitting at the kitchen counter in the mornings with my cereal bowl, watching my aunt take her coffee cup and head off to work, right down the hallway.  I knew I shouldn’t disturb her while she worked.  A few times she let me “edit” for her, probably to be nice and to give me something to do.  It was so nice to sit on the sofa in that sunny little room with the breeze, and the books, and my aunt at her desk, whom I still herald as a magnificent writer and overall remarkable person.   How nice it would be to be in that room again.  Just for today.  To finish the posts I’ve started, and maybe begin a few that are floating around in my head.  Perhaps I would start to write a book.  That would be amazing!  What would I write about?  I have no idea, but I am sure I would come up with something if I spent a day in that room alone with the ocean breeze.

Now, I need to turn off the television and go upstairs to tell the elephants to stop running in the house.  We have laundry to do today, and errands to run.  Tomorrow, it is back to work and school.  My husband is out of town for the day, so I want to spend some quality time with the kids, maybe take a walk.   I will try to find time this evening to finish one of my posts.

I think someday I will have that little writing room of my dreams, and my half-written ideas will be typed and printed for all to read.  Everything starts with a dream, right?

We had a busy morning.  I started the coffee, made breakfast for three, packed lunches for three, brushed hair, brushed teeth, dressed, put shoes on, backpacks on, family photo-shoot, and off to school.

The girls were a little nervous, but mostly excited about starting kindergarten.  My son watched the clock from the moment he awoke, and despite my reassurance that “we don’t need to leave yet,” he kept urging us out the door with,  “We gotta go, Mom.  Can we please go now?!”  When we got to school, we walked my daughters to their classroom and my son told us he would see us later and that he was going to “go do my thing”.   A quick hug and he was off, confidently heading into the 3rd Grade.

Warning: I’ve been reflective this morning.   You see, my twin daughters were born early, at 29 weeks.  Looking back on that time, I almost can’t understand how we made it through.  I won’t tell you the whole story.  The full-length version is too long for this blog post, and it isn’t the reason I write.  I only mention it because it was a difficult time and there was a point at which we weren’t sure if we’d ever have the opportunity to take our girls to kindergarten.  Hard to believe, as I took them to school today, snapping pictures of them outside their classroom.  They were smiling, nervous, holding hands.   They made it!  And it is just the beginning.  They will have a great time, learn so much, meet new friends.

I thought I might be more emotional today, when I saw my babies off to school.  But, I wasn’t.  I was happy.  Happy that they are growing up.  It is a wonderful thing.   I won’t lie, I even had a few high-five moments with some other moms I know who were sending their youngest ones out the door, too.   There is a sense of accomplishment, like “I made it! Yes!”  Another chapter of motherhood ends, as one begins.  Of course, when the bell rang, and my husband and I walked back to our car after saying our final goodbyes and blowing kisses, I did get a little choked up.  And I laughed at myself when tears fell down my cheeks, because I’m really not sad at all.  I just know that this is exactly what is supposed to happen, and the kids, my husband and I, are all exactly where we are meant to be, right now.  It’s a good day.

Now, I sit at my computer and type this story, uninterrupted and in complete silence.   I feel good.   I see the kids’ breakfast dishes sitting on the counter and I do miss the little rascals.  I hope they are having a good day, too.  I think I will pour another cup of coffee and make some phone calls.  Strange, but for the first time in a long time, my kitchen is not chaotic at all.

-Michelle

It seems as though food allergies and asthma are on the rise.  The experts are telling us so.  But, I think it’s pretty obvious that more people are dealing with these issues.  When I was growing up, I felt like an oddball because I was the only one I knew who had severe allergies.   I also had/have asthma, which seems to go hand-in-hand.  These days, my son is certainly not the only one with allergies and asthma.  From dairy, to peanuts, and even strawberries, more human bodies are rejecting certain foods for some reason.  Why?  Many articles have been written recently on this subject.  Some experts feel it is a combination of genetics and environmental influences.  Some scientists say it is an example of human evolution and natural selection in action.

I am not a doctor, scientist or researcher, but I am sure there are numerous factors contributing to the increase of allergies and auto-immune issues in humans.   Environmental causes seem the most obvious.  Pesticides and air pollution can’t be good for us, or the foods we grow, and would certainly, it seems, contribute to asthma, allergies, cancers and possibly other increasingly common issues, such as autism.  But, then again, what do I know.

We tend to see more and more dairy allergies and intolerance these days, which seems quite logical to me, considering the cows’ food source (unnatural, high-energy feed), the antibiotics and the hormones they’re given.  But, when it comes to dairy allergies, such as my son’s  (not to be confused with lactose intolerance!) it is the animal protein, casein, that is the problem.  His body sees this protein as a foreign substance, unable to process it, sending his body into anaphylactic shock.  So, perhaps there is another explanation.  Perhaps the human body simply isn’t designed for the consumption of other mammal’s milk.

Consider this; mammals (the females of the species having mammary glands) produce milk in order to feed their young.  A wonderful design by nature.  Under natural conditions, cow’s milk is nutrient-rich and designed for calves, who gain around 500 pounds in the first 12 months of life.   We take this milk and process it to give it longer shelf life and a taste the general population will buy.   Of course, you can purchase organic, raw dairy milk, which is fine if you aren’t allergic and is not processed like the homogenized, pasteurized versions in the grocery stores.  But, back to my point.  We know that some time around 10,000 years ago, and possibly further back, humans started to farm and raise animals and stopped following herds, seasonally moving from one region to another.  It made perfect sense.  Easier than hunting or moving constantly, and certainly using less energy, breeding animals for consumption was a marvelous idea.  Thus began human’s regular consumption of other mammalian milk, be it by cow or by goat, or any other animal.   10,000 years or more seems like an eternity to us, but it is a mere blink of an eye in the world of evolution.  Fast forward to modern times.  Maybe humans simply haven’t fully developed the ability to consume dairy from other animals at the rate at which we do so.  Add to the bio-evolutionary aspect the fact that we no longer consume milk that comes from cows that graze naturally, as they did 10,000 years ago, during a time when pesticides and hormones were unheard of.  It all sort of starts to make sense.  The same thoughts come to mind when I think about the eggs we eat, the meat we buy, and the produce we consume.  Our foods just aren’t what they used to be.

Now, let’s talk about the increase in auto-immune disease.  Again, not a doctor, but it seems reasonable to assume that it may somehow relate, in part, to our consumption of heavily processed, unnatural foods.   And as amazing as our bodies are, they are working overtime to process the chemicals we eat, inhale and absorb from our environment each and every day.  So, we then develop auto-immune diseases and ailments due to the fact that our bodies are weak from all the stress of keeping us alive and kicking.  Ironically, we then go to doctors who prescribe drugs so we can get better, putting more processed, man-made material into our bodies.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t.  I do.  I would stop breathing and die if I didn’t use asthma medication daily.  I can’t tell you how many times I have taken steroids and antibiotics under the supervision of a doctor.   Many raw food advocates have been arguing the benefits of their raw food diet for years, claiming a significant decrease, if not complete elimination of asthma, allergies, colds and flu.  Now, my husband and I are fairly health-conscious, but I will be the first to admit that I sometimes sacrifice health for ease and convenience. I have popped frozen packages into the microwave without batting an eye.  I have and do occasionally stop for fast food simply because it’s easy and I am in a hurry.   Although I try, I do not ONLY purchase organic, unprocessed foods at the market.  So, I will not throw stones from the porch of my glass house, but I believe most Americans, myself included, are probably lacking in certain nutrients, only found in natural, Earth-made foods.

It may be time for us to consider the effect our choices are having on our health.  On a large scale, it may be time to consider the effects of corporate farming and consumerism.   At the very least, we should be aware of the plants and animals we consume and the means by which we do so.    The sustainability ”movement” is gaining momentum, fortunately, and the better we learn to care for the Earth and its living creatures and plants, the better we will be able to care for ourselves.   I would be willing to bet we would all feel better physically, and perhaps we would see a decrease in food allergies, auto-immune and other disease.  I could be wrong.  Remember, I am not a doctor or scientist.  But I think it is worth a try.

-Michelle

Sources:

• Norwich BioScience Institutes (2007, October 16). Animal Protein Allergies Explained. ScienceDaily. Retrieved August 8, 2011, from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/10/071015081742.htm
• Department of Dairy Science, University of Wisconsin – Madison. Growth Charts. Growth Characteristics of Small-sized Holstein heifers. Dairy Calf & Heifer Management UW-Extension.  Retrieved August 7, 2011, from http://www.uwex.edu/ces/heifermgmt/charts.cfm

It’s that time of year again.  School is about to begin!  Thank goodness, because my kids are bored and I am sure ready for it!

It can be a little tricky to pack lunch for a kid with allergies.  I don’t know about you, but we tend to get into a “lunch rut”.   Once we find something that my son can eat, we pack it every single day until eventually, lunchtime becomes so predictable and unappealing that half of his lunch comes home with him each day, uneaten.   Our standard lunchbox fare consists of a sandwich, made with deli-sliced turkey with Vegenaise® on wheat, or tuna with Vegenaise® on wheat, apple slices, fruit snacks, and a juice box.  Sometimes, I include a soy pudding.  This year, I will be packing not just one, but three lunches each day.  My daughters start Kindergarten!  Of course, I want to make healthy lunches, but I also want to keep it interesting, and affordable.  So, I will be scouring the supermarket and health-food store for delicious new ideas.  We’ve already identified some awesome new vegan cookies that my son can eat.  I will keep you posted on my discoveries and, if you have any suggestions, let me know!

-Michelle

My brother and his girlfriend are coming into town this weekend, and will stay at my mom’s for a few days before heading East.  They are relocating to Virginia.  We are so excited to see them and spend some time before they make the big move Eastward.  We plan to have a BBQ on Saturday when they get in.  The thing is, my brother is a vegetarian and his girlfriend doesn’t eat carbs.  Obviously, hamburgers, steak or hot dogs are off the list.  And my usual fallback, pasta, is out as well.   I have been searching the web for recipes and I think I may try grilled eggplant or portobello mushroom “burgers”.  I will be off to the grocery store this afternoon and I hope to find some inspiration among the produce.  I did see a delicious-looking recipe for the mushroom burgers on the food network, but it involved cheese.  I could exclude cheese from my son’s burger, but will the mushroom alone have enough flavor to keep him interested?  Hmmm.  Fortunately, I have a few more days to figure this out.  We need a vegan, carbless, kid-pleasing meal.  Any suggestions??

-Michelle

Quin, Age 2

When my son was little, I had to be so careful about food.  Having severe allergies myself, I wanted to protect him from the potentially life-threatening result of an exposure to dairy.  It made me so nervous when he started preschool.  After all, dairy was EVERYWHERE!  I even contemplated (very briefly) not sending him to Pre-K at all.  I could just imagine a snack-time mishap… milk coming out of some kid’s nose (you remember that happening when you were a kid!) and spraying my son in the face, his eyes swelling shut and his breathing becoming shallow and nobody doing anything to help him.  Oh my God!  The thought was almost more than I could bear.  Or, some craft project involving a type of paint that contains a dairy protein.  I don’t know of any but, it could happen!  Nobody else, even his wonderful, sweet preschool teacher would know that you must read the ingredients on EVERYTHING…. EVERYTHING!  Even my family couldn’t be trusted.  I just KNEW my mother or my in-laws MIGHT accidentally feed him something that would send him into anaphylactic shock, and if I wasn’t around to deal with it, nobody else would know how!  Oh NO!  How emotionally exhausting it is to think about, even now.

Well, somehow my son has survived to the age of 8.  His allergy was no doubt the focus of  my extreme anxiety, stress and over-protectiveness.   Before he could read, I made sure he knew to tell people that he was allergic to dairy and to ask them to read the ingredients for him.  He was so good about it.  Very grown-up about it.

Well guess what, there was a day when my worry became a reality.  Funny how that happens, isn’t it?  He was in kindergarten and it was lunchtime.  Everyone in class knew of Quin’s allergy to dairy, and most kids found it fascinating that milk could make him so sick.  So, some little boy tried to put cheese on my son’s arm, thinking it would be funny to see what would happen.  Quin dodged the cheese, and only a small amount smeared onto his shirt.  Cheese.  Delicious sandwich accessory, or deadly weapon?  ( I feel like I need a sound byte here; dun dun dunnnn)  Some other kids told a teacher about the incident and she separated the other little boy from my son.  When I picked him up from school that day, Quin told me about what happened.  He said he was alright and that he and that boy became friends afterward.  His kindergarten teacher spoke to the class about the seriousness of allergies, and that was that.

Looking back, it is hard for me to admit that I was a bit too overprotective at times.  On the other hand, we are talking about a very serious allergy.  I just wish I hadn’t worried SO much.  Truth, motherhood and worry seem to go hand-in-hand, allergies or not.  Moms with severely allergic kids HAVE to be a protective advocate for their child when they are young.  Then, we have to teach our child how to protect himself.  He/she should be educated on their allergy and understand how to deal with it.   If I have any advice for other parents, and I do hate to give unwarranted advice… just kidding, I do it all the time.   Don’t freak out too much.  Just make sure to educate yourself, your child, your family, and your child’s school.

One of the biggest challenges with the dairy allergy, is convincing people that it is completely different from lactose intolerance.  Trying to get the point across that my son’s reaction to milk is far more severe than a tummy-ache, can be difficult.  Some people just don’t get it.  But that’s OK.  Quin now knows how to read packaging and is comfortable talking to adults and other kids about his allergy.  He knows what ingredients to look for and what to do if he does ingest or even touches dairy products.  So, I don’t worry too much anymore.   At least, not about his allergy.

-Michelle

I am not cheap… I am just frugal.   Why pay full price if I know I can get it cheaper?   When you have a household to run and a family to feed, you tend to think very seriously before parting with that dollar in your wallet.  At least, I do.  Food can be a huge expense for a family and I do what I can to save money.  A couple months ago, I caught the end of a TV show called Extreme Couponing.  I watched a woman with five full shopping carts at a grocery checkout stand, hand over a pile of coupons, and walk out spending less than $4.00.   FOUR DOLLARS!  She had around $600 worth of groceries in those carts!  I was impressed, and inspired.

Personally, I don’t really have anywhere to keep $600 worth of groceries, and I don’t feel the need to keep a massive stock of sports drinks and Hamburger Helper.  (If you don’t know what I mean, you really must see the show.)   However, I do think there is a lot to learn from these couponing extremists.   Plan ahead.  Do a little research beforehand, and you can save money.

First, to be successful and truly save money with coupons, you need to educate yourself on the rules and restrictions of your grocery store(s).   Do they accept competitor’s coupons?   Do they double coupons?  Many stores normally do not, but they may have one day each month or week where they will double your coupons.   At my favoritie grocery store, every coupon is worth a dollar right now.  If the coupon’s face value is more than a dollar, then they will take it at face value.  It is well worth it to sign up for the store’s savings card, if they offer one.  That will automatically save you money.  Then, clip those coupons.  I get the Sunday paper each week and clip away while sipping my coffee and discussing the headlines with my husband.

So, now you need to check the weekly grocery ads.  They usually come out on Wednesdays.   Many supermarkets offer an online version of their ad and even certain manufacturer coupons.   I browse to see what items are on sale, and compare to my coupons.  How much will I save if I use my coupon at this store vs. that store?  For me, this is the fun part.  I love to determine my strategy and make my grocery list.  I do not want to drive all over town for the best deals, so I want to go to ONE store and save as much as I can while purchasing what we NEED.    This sometimes means spending a few cents more on a particular item, and offsetting that extra cost by the amount I save on other items.  For instance, the store I shop at most frequently does not sell soy milk at the lowest price.  However, they offer the best savings in most other areas of the market, and when I use coupons, I am ultimately saving more than I would at the other grocery stores.

I have to say, I’ve been couponing for a couple months now, and I feel great when I walk out of a store knowing I saved as much as possible on the items we use.  It pays to take the time and plan ahead.

-Michelle

One great thing about summertime is the variety of produce choices.  Of course, the kids love fruit!  We’ve been gobbling up fruits like crazy; peaches, plums, pineapple, watermelon, cantaloupe, grapes, blueberries and strawberries.    I have been taking full advantage and regardless of what we are having, I prepare a plate of fruit for virtually every meal.  It goes right in the middle of the table and is almost always empty before the meal is done.  We had spaghetti and fresh bread the other night and not only did the kids clean their plates, they finished off the fruit platter as well.   I’ve also been taking frozen grapes with us to the pool for a sweet, cold snack.   The only downside to this fruity addiction is that I am heading to the grocery store every other day to buy more.  I recently found out that there is a farmer’s market every Friday morning in our city’s center.  From what I understand, it’s easy to walk away with tons of fruits and veggies without spending a fortune.  Why did I not know about this?  I am very anxious to check it out.  If I can get fresh produce AND save money, that would be amazing!  I will keep you posted.

-Michelle

Up until a month ago, I was working full-time as an office manager/ bookkeeper for a small company located just a mile and a half from home.  I loved the people I worked with and hoped the “little company that could”, would.  Well, it didn’t, and when it became evident that we wouldn’t be able to make payroll, I had to go.  I believe that everything happens for a reason and the timing couldn’t have been more appropriate.  The school year was coming to an end, and I realized that having some time to spend with the kids this summer might be a better deal than working all day and watching my paycheck go to daycare.

I have to say, the first month has been difficult.   It may sound crazy, but I liked working and having deadlines and meetings, and being in charge of the operational flow of an office environment.  I liked the accounting and solving logistical challenges with our clients.  It turns out, I was pretty good at it, too.  Now, I am home with my kids each day, and I have to say, this job is far more challenging than the one I was paid to do.  There is more repetition here at home, which can become boring, and for me, that is challenging.  For instance, the major tasks for me today were to clean the master bathroom and pick up my son from his summer science class on time.  The kids are the loose cannons that keep it interesting.  Lately, each day seems to offer up new ways for them to antagonize each other, bicker over toys and complain about being bored.  I feel it is generally much easier to go into any office of any given industry and spend your day solving problems and coordinating schedules, negotiating with difficult people and completing tasks before deadlines.  This is due to the fact that, at the end of the day, you will leave those difficult people and the ever-increasing to-do lists, turn off the computer in your office, turn off the lights, lock the door and go home.  With my children, there will never be a time when I turn it all off and go.

I keep thinking, when I worked, I was able to manage so much MORE, and with so much more tolerance and patience.  But then I realize, that is because it was only a JOB.  When it boils down to it, I wasn’t saving lives (if you’re a surgeon, or an E.R. nurse or doctor, this thought process may not work for you.)  I was only there to process the sale, and make sure everything and everyone fell into their proper places.  There is so much more at stake when it comes to raising kids!  It takes MORE energy and effort.   In fact, I can honestly say that in my career as a mother, I have literally saved lives.  Pulled toys out of a choking baby’s mouth, rushed to the E.R. when my son had asthma attacks, and a few times… with the help of Poison Control…  “Hello.  Yes, what should I do if my two-year-old stuck Alleve in her nostrils?   Yes, both nostrils……Uh huh.. One Alleve per nostril….  Yes, she’s breathing just fine, but when I tried to pull the Alleve out, I think I actually shoved them further in there….Well, her nose is running now and it’s blue… you know, Alleve Blue.”

I was a stay-at-home mom after my son was born and, aside from a few part-time weekend jobs here and there, I continued to stay home after the twins were born.  I started working full time about a year and a half ago, when the twins were 3 years old.  Being a mom is tough, whether you work outside the home or not.  Doing it well is even tougher.  Doing it well doesn’t mean your house is always clean, your kids always well-behaved and never settling for a fast food or frozen dinner.  Motherhood gets pretty messy, in every sense of the word.  I am grateful for the fact that I was able to stay home during the first several years after my children were born, and I am grateful I am here with them now.  After all, my daughters will begin Kindergarten in the Fall, and I will officially be the mother of school-aged children.  Life will change again.  I will find another job, the kids will make friends, learn new things, join a team, play an instrument.  They will start to grow up and require my presence less and less, as they should.  Perhaps I will also join a team, or play an instrument.   Each new chapter in life offers opportunities for change and personal improvement.  I know that the right job is out there for me; one that allows me to use my talents and grow as a person, but doesn’t keep me from being the type of mother I strive to be.   Hopefully one that offers health benefits, too!  For now, the plan is to spend some quality time with my kids, maybe paint the upstairs bathroom (Alleve blue?) and enjoy being in the ‘now’.   After all, right ’now’ is all that really matters.

-Michelle

Summer 2011